The Equelizers Podcast

Valerian and Laureline: Santa Core

Christmas in Space continues as we dock our podcast into the unbridled utopian space cornucopia that is Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017). Deck your halls and apply your jingle bells to your Mass Effect jumpsuit because the Equelizers have a heart-warming tale for you filled with space battles, a king boss, and a new employee of Madison's Carnival of Bits!

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Madison R Jones

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

 

 

The Krull Christmas TV Spectacular

The Equelizers kick off Christmas in Space with Kingsol, the newest ancient holiday! We hope you laid out your Hearth Hand for The King's Thief as you listen to our TV movie follow up to Krull! This week has it all: The Great Carnival of Bits Fire of 2021,The Pun Hole, and Gingerglaives!

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Mike Knoll

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

Mac and Me 2d6

The Equelizers bring you a Big Mac of an episode this week with Mike's PLAYABLE RPG SEQUEL to the famously horrible film Mac and Me (1988). This one is doused in so much secret sauce you'll need a Coca-cola to reincarnate you by the end. 

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Madison Jones

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

The Mitchells Vs. More Machines

Just when they thought it was safe to go back in The Holidays, The Mitchells face off against a parade of new machine menaces! This week has it all: Seymour's doctorate in Butt Medicine, Letterboxd finally breaks Madison's brain, and someone's horny for coins!

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Mike Knoll

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

 

Shrek the Musical II: I Want to Believer

Some think sequels are only real in fairy tales, but Madison says go Farquod yourself to those who might as well take a walk on the Sun. Join them and Mike this week as they peel back some onion layers and show the universe that they are an All Star with their jukebox musical follow up to Shrek the Musical (2013), which features the entirety of Smash Mouth's Astro Lounge. 

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Madison R Jones

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our theme "Two Step Struttin'"

All Smash Mouth songs are by the band Smash Mouth and were recorded and published by Interscope Records

Rear Window 2: Man in the Mirror

You don't have to break a leg to get in on the murder action this week as The Equelizers bring in Raymond Burr to solve the crime in Rear Window 2! This week has it all: More Muppets, You Can See The Photo, and a finale for the ages!

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Mike Knoll

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

Dune: Arrakis Cop

Developing a sequel is a very delicate time. Know then that it is the year 2021. The known podcast universe is ruled by the Pod Emperor Conan O'Brien. In this time, the most precious substance in the Universe is .Wav files. The .Wav files extend humor. The .Wav files expand dumb ideas. The .Wav files are vital to equelizing. The Equelizers and its listeners, who the podcast has mutated over 131 episodes, use the .wav files, which they turn into .Mp3 files to share their dumb ideas with the Universe. 

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Madison Jones

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

Clue 2: Dead End Drive

Long story short (too late) The Equelizers roll the dice on their sequel to Clue! This week has it all: The Anti-Horny, The Clue-Man Group, and Madison tries to kill Angela Lansbury.

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Mike Knoll

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"

 

The Mummy 2: The Phantom Menace

*spooky pipe organ music* *crash of lightning* *the sound of spooky moaning* *a blood-curdling scream* 
Oh sorry, Freakquels! We didn't see you come in. This week we are treating you to a new monster of a sequel as we unwrap and repackage The Mummy (2017). This week has it all; A remake of one of the show's historic bits, satanic glass, and Madison talks about crystals again.

Great Gatsby and the Quantum Romp

Madison galaxy brains 2013's Great Gatsby  as we leap into Leo's filmography and take another another bite out of The Big Apple in Great Gatsby and the Quantum Romp! This week has it all: Muppet What Ifs, Déjà vu reviews, and we leap back to put right an audio issue that went wrong!

 

Hosted by Mike Knoll and Madison Jones

Edited by Mike Knoll

Special thanks to the BananaBoyes for the use of our them "Two Step Struttin'"